Where is all the help child?! I know many christian pastors and leaders who have been divorced but are not talking about the topic. When asked they act more like it never happened rather than spilling the wisdom! They are probably so reluctant because of all the mess and foolishness involved with the situation. I understand that because half of the people reading this is waiting to get the "tea" on what happened in my situation. Keep watching and reading boo, you may just get some much needed healing and deliverance for yourself. No shade, just truth.
Divorce is such a taboo topic in the church and it is so unfortunate. I could not find help when I was desperate to find information as to what path of restoration I should take. Thank God for my mother who had a heavy hand in explaining and divulging about her past experience with divorce. The fact is, it happens! God still loves you! God will and can restore you.
First, I would advise you to speak with someone that you can trust, someone that is unbiased and able to point you into the right direction in line with your beliefs. Christian counselors are amazing. Secular counselors and therapists are amazing as well, sometimes you need someone who can give you practical advice. I made the mistake of going to those that knew me. They had their own perception of what was going on and what could be fixed because of what was presented a time or two. There were much larger issues taking place. You need someone skilled to help you uncovering what may be hidden. You also need a commitment to accountability and truth so that healing and forgiveness can occur.
Don't rush your process. This is a journey that has to be addressed thoroughly. Allow yourself time to uncover the toxicity and the old familiar baggage that is hindering you. Be accountable to yourself first. You deserve to heal from the trauma you have experienced. The last thing you want is for the toxicity within you to spread to other situations in your life or even to other relationships/ friendships that you have. Get the proper help you need so that the pain can be cut off at the root. Peace and joy are just a few of the rewards you will receive from your hard work.